Um, no thanks.

Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens.

I’ll pass.

From Chocolate Shop to Yoga Studio, here is a quick list of my actual favourite Montreal things…

• Chocolate Shop – Suite 88. I’m drooling just thinking about it. My fave is the cayenne hot coco. Grab a treat for the folks back home. 3957 St. Denis Street.
• Green Space – Parc Lafontaine. On a sunny weekend, this is the place for relaxed queers to congregate. Bring a picnic. Smell the grass. Corner Rachel Street and Rue du Parc-Lafontaine.
• Greasy Spoon Diner – Resto du Village. Open 24 hours, this is the perfect place to start your day or end your night. Cheap and unpretentious. Try the poutine. 1310 Wolfe Street.
• Place of Worship – Notre-Dame Basilica. I’m not really a church-goin’ guy, but the architecture, history and location (Old Montreal) of Cathedral Notre Dame make it an important Montreal landmark. 110 Notre-Dame Street West.
• Cupcake – Les Glaceurs. A little piece of decadence in Old Montreal, these cupcakes are conveniently located across from Notre Dame Basilica. If you decide to pass on confession and go for a sugary carb-loaded treat instead. 453 Saint-Sulpice Street
• Antique Shop – All the shops along Amherst Street. Antiquing is great afternoon activity. This is Montreal’s premiere spot. Amherst between St. Catherine and Ontario Street.
• Bike Path – Canal Lachine. Rent a bike and head along the canal until you reach Parc Rene Levesque at St. Louis Lake (4 hour trip in total). Grab some lunch along the way at Atwater Market to have a picnic.
• Department Store – La Maison Simons. A little something for everyone’s budget. Wander through the sections and keep your eyes peeled for hotties. Very gay. 977 St. Catherine West.
• Gay Cocktail Bar – Gotha. A relaxed atmosphere with a patio in the summer and fireplace in the winter, this is a great place to start the evening in the Village. 1641 Amherst Street.
• Yoga Studio – Moksha Yoga. Montreal’s hottest studio… literally. Prepare to sweat it out in the heated studio. $20 for a week intro pass. Mat and towel rentals available. 3863 St. Laurent Blvd., 2nd floor.