So, I’m Jean Francois and this is my brother Jean Christophe. Or maybe it’s the other way around- everyone gets us mixed up so why can’t I? But we are definitely half bird and half cat which makes us basically the most agile creatures ever. We love the circus and we know this much: if you want to see the best circus performers in the world, you need to do come to Montreal to see Cirque du Soleil: Totem…
Montreal is circus central. It’s home to the National Circus School, has a whole festival called Completement Cirque, and is where the greatest circus troupe in the world, Cirque du Soleil, got started. Their latest show Cirque du Soleil: Totem, June 16 to July 31, is going to be amazing. No big deal, it just covers the entire evolution of the human species in one of the most amazing eye-popping air-&-brain-defying acrobatic extravaganzas that Cirque has ever done. Me and my brother were totally going to be in the show but they told us that we can’t actually fly that well. Which is true, but not cool guys, not cool.
Jean Francois: Heyyyy, brother
Jean Christophe: What is it?
Jean Francois: Hey, listen- I was wondering- do you still think that the earth is a flat plate that rests on the back of a turtle?
Jean Christophe: Obvs.
Jean Francois: Excellent! Then you’ll go to Cirque du Soleil with me?
Jean Christophe: Do we have to go together?
Jean Francois: ….
Jean Christophe: …..
Jean Francois: …Would it help if I told you that Cirque du Soleil’s latest show TOTEM is about the evolution of humans from when they were amphibians to their discovery that flying is the most amazing thing ever? I didn’t know people wanted to fly, but since we can sort of fly, maybe this could be a bonding experience for us and the humans. Plus the stage is a giant turtle, which basically proves that cosmological myth you believe.
Jean Christophe: Oh really? Hm. I must speak to the Cirque du Soleil philosophers. Remind me to do this later, but brother, I’m also into Montreal’s Completement Cirque, it’s more street. Of course you wouldn’t understand the virtues of this, being a year younger than me.
Jean Francois: Brother, we have to stick together on this. We need to learn about people, then maybe they’ll learn about our people.
Jean Christophe: Humans have no interest in eagle/cat hybrids, especially because our skin is so hard to find soap for.
Jean Francois: Fine, maybe you don’t want to go to Cirque du Soleil, but if you come with me… I’ll go to Completement Cirque with you.
Jean Christophe: Nope.
Jean Francois: And I’ll buy your drinks.
Jean Christophe: Deal.
Jean Francois: Deal.
Jean Christophe: You know, I’d have gone with you anyway but I just wanted you to say you’d come with me to Completement Cirque and I was pretty sure you’d cave and offer to buy me drinks.
Cirque Du Soleil: Totem, June 16 to July 31, 2011