Posted on July 5th, 2011 by .

Gayly? Julay? Jugay? There seems to be almost as many portmanteaus for “Gay” and “July” as there are things to do! So take your time to muddle it over, and settle on the portmanteau you feel comfortable with and then explore all the exciting gay things happening in the city this month…

[DAYS OF THE WEEK (WEAK NEED NOT APPLY)] Monday: Billiards Tournament at l’Aigle Noir (1812 St-Catherine East) starting at 7PM. I have a feeling there will be more strokes and balls than appropriate for a Billiards game. Tuesday: Mado’s Variety Hour starting at 11:30 PM at Cabaret Mado (1115 St-Catherine East). Mado hosts a gang of Drag Queens sashaying on stage and being fabulous. Get there early if you want a good vantage point. Wednesday: Ladies night at Stock Bar (1171 St-Catherine East). Need I say more? Hilarity comes in all shapes and sizes. Thursday: Live acoustic music at Gotha Lounge (1641 Amherst). Let the good vibes roll. Friday: Friday No Parking at Parking Nightclub (1296 Amherst). Shooter boyz, gogo boyz, drag boyz, muscle boyz, circus boyz and more boyz. Saturday: Poplife at Club Unity (1171 St-Catherine East) . Multiple bars, Huge amazing terrace, glamorous music… They’re not selling pop music, this is a pop lifestyle. Sunday: Thank god for Rebecca Black teaching me the days of the week or that paragraph would have been real tough. Sunday is nap time event at Club Your Bed (1234 Mattress Street West). Go rest up.

[DIVERS/CITE 2011]: July 25-31, 2011. Rue Berri, Parc Emilie-Gamelin and other venues in Montreal.

Once again, the colourful festival in Montreal returns! Check out the full Divers/Cité post here. Watch movies in a park, see artistic ballet dancing (bonus: the dancers are nude, but trust me it’s really classy), opera and a plethora of international DJs! I’m looking forward to Mascara the most. It’s just the most extravagant thing I’ve ever seen. Le Grane Danse, Le Grande Ball, it can all be hard to handle. So the best way to deal with the overload of creativity and fun is the just breathe deep and dive right in.

[Baby, you’re a Firework] Every Saturday night, see the beautiful fireworks light up the Montreal skyline. There’s nothing that screams gay more than shooting rainbow colours up into the air and spraying fun and magic for all the world to see. Try going to Papineau metro and getting a good view! The show starts at 10PM and usually lasts around 30 minutes. Click here for the full schedule.

[Zoofest brings the Freaky Naughty]

The logo for Zoofest is a lion head with wings. Therefore, I will go to whatever it tells me to. I will honour this idol until the end of time. Zoofest is the wacky, quirky, open minded festival where anything goes. Some things may be offensive. Somethings may be adorable. But all will be unforgettable. From July 9-31st, you’ll have plenty of time to be disturbed/entertained. Check out all the theatre, burlesque, funny, dancing and magical programming here.

[Gays like country music too]

The blonde power house vixen of country music Taylor Swift is coming to the Bell Centre on July 14. Taylor Swift is a statuesque 5’11 and has hair like Rapunzel. For this reason she is my gay fantasy. It’s a fact that, like Shania, she is bringing the country to the gays, and the gays to the country. This show is one that can’t be missed if you’re a gay country boy like me.

[Aires Libres Encore & Street Sale] AIRES LIBRES started in late May, but now ALL the decorations are up, all the street art is installed and all the gays have come a-flocking. Tents, festivals, street performers, buskers, sales and shenanigans are happening every day along this stretch of St-Catherine between Berri and Papineau. And it’s only getting wilder the deeper into this sweltering summer we  get. There’s a street sale happening July 14-17 so make sure to head down and look at all the sweet swag up for grabs!

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