July is a loose, silly time in Montreal, not only because it’s the height of summer holidays, but because long-running comedy festival Just for Laughs, July 10-28, lets some of the biggest names in comedy reign the city’s downtown core…

The comedy festival’s biggest events, and often the most varied in comedic stylings, are the Just For Laughs Galas – this year hosted by Dane Cook, Sarah Silverman, Seth Meyers, Joan Rivers, Eddie Izzard and Montreal’s own Jay Baruchel. The fast-paced showcases, held in the opulent Salle Wilfrid-Pelletier at Place des Arts, give comedians, famous and up-and-coming alike, about 10 minutes to share the best material in their arsenal – plus the galas are recorded for TV, so there’s the added bonus of possibly seeing your laughing face on the small screen soon.

Laughs gain further focus at the fest’s solo shows, where comedians let their newest material loose and reprise classic stuff. This year, spend quality time with: Amy Schumer and her dirty thoughts; former Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Anchor Colin Quinn and his political humour; Hannibal Buress in a new show and as host of Hip Hop Karaoke; Bo Burnham and his musical, MTV-friendly ways; Scottish comedian Danny Bhoy in new show Dear Epson; sitcom and podcast self-made star Marc Maron, and many more. Also get to know cutting-edge comedians better at the intimate Theatre Ste-Catherine, where Maria Bamford shares her surreal world, Tig Notaro gets amazingly real, You Made It Weird host Pete Holmes stays weird, and South African star Trevor Noah makes a North American name for himself. Over at the equally intimate Mainline Theatre, see what 30 Rock’s Judah Friedlander has printed on his hat, and watch his co-stars Scott Adsit and John Lutz do a show of their own.

Just For Laughs is also famed for its themed shows, ongoing for years now, with return guests and new blood. For a taste of the real Montreal, check out the Bilingual Show, with Anglophone comedians trying their hand at French jokes and Francophones telling it like it in English, hosted by Mike Ward. A variety of languages make their way into the ever-popular Ethnic Show, this year hosted by This Hour Has 22 Minutes’ Shaun Majumder, while Hebrew, Jewish tradition and self-perpetuated stereotyping is all comedy fodder at The Bar Mitzvah Show. Or stick with boring old English at the Britcom showcase, hosted by Rich Hall. Not to be missed for shock value alone: The Nasty Show, hosted this year by Bobby Slayton and Jimmy Carr, oddly, or perhaps fittingly, preceded by Date Night: The Relationship Show. And drop in on Talk Of The Fest at Club Soda, where every night a different host, from 30 Rock’s Kristen Schaal to SNL’s Taran Killam and Bobby Moynihan, gets breakout stars up on stage to win over new fans.

Along with Just For Laughs headliners, galas and themed shows comes an unscripted improv show from Whose Line Is It Anyway’s Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood, comedy competition The New Faces of Comedy, the world premier of Brad Copeland’s feature film Coffee Town, and SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody, a witty, steamy send-up of the best-selling book, created by a crack team of Toronto writers and improvisers invading the Centaur Theatre. And see even more comedy, mostly of an 18+ nature and with ticket prices that won’t dig into the beer budget, at JFL sister festival Zoofest, where French and English stand-up, comedic theatrical performances, indie circus acts, and more collide.

THE DETAILS

Just For Laughs, July 10-28, 2013

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(New Year’s Eve) Welcome a brand-new year in true Montreal style: the Montreal Buzz Guide to New Year’s Eve in Montreal offers an array of ideas, from five-course meals to pub crawls, family-friendly outings in the Old Port to champagne-fuelled comedy shows, jazz clubs to multi-room parties, and all kinds of late-night dancing. New Year’s Eve in Montreal is a party no matter what your idea of a party is.

(festive food) Montreal has become a destination for feasting on gourmet comfort food, especially for meat eaters, from pork belly to tourtière. The SAT Foodlab throws an end-of-the-world, prix-fixe dinner, Souper Apocalyptique, on December 21. And then there’s the Christmas Day tradition, mostly among people who don’t celebrate Christmas but also among people who just want to eat a lot of good food, of going for a huge Chinese lunch or dinner: lots of duck, hot soup, fried seafood, dumplings and house specialties. Follow it up with sweetness: chocolates, truffles, freshly baked bread, croissants and more, all made in Montreal.

(last-minute shopping) Get one-of-a-kind gifts at the biggest craft and artisinal fair in Canada, Salon des métiers d’art, where over 400 Quebec artists and artisans set up booths full of professionally handmade clothing, toys, home decor, food and much more – at Place Bonaventure only until December 22. Our Holiday Gift Guide is also full of Montreal-made ideas and suggestions for stores to shop for everyone on your list. Of course, picking up a little something for yourself couldn’t hurt, right? Peruse the guides for fashion-forward women and men before hitting the shops.

(super-entertainment on stage) Let Cirque du Soleil’s Saltimbanco blow your mind with gasp-worthy acrobatics, genuinely funny clowning, and feats of strength and stamina, all in one bright, colourful, musical show. What makes this run super special is that it’s the last time Santimbanco – see it until December 30 at the Bell Centre. Also in circus happenings, Cirque Alphonse’s Timber! turns Montreal circus centre Tohu into in a Christmas-y forest populated by lumberjack acrobats, clowns and laughs, on until December 31. And the traditional, balletic holiday fare Les Grands Ballets’ The Nutcracker continues to December 30 at Place des Arts.

(outdoor fun) Even in winter, Montrealers spend time outdoors, burning off steam (and calories) with winter sports or just walking through the city – there’s plenty to see, and this time of year much of it is illuminated. On Saturday night at 8 p.m. and on New Year’s Eve at midnight, the Telus Fire on Ice fireworks explode over the picturesque Old Port, also home to a huge outdoor skating rink. Families will also want to check out Noël sur l’avenue along Mont Royal Avenue east of Mont Royal Park, and the further-east Olympic Park Winter Village, where from December 22-24 and again December 27-31, kids and adults alike can go ice skating and sledding, hang out with Rudolph and the other reindeer, sing Christmas songs and more – there are even fireworks on December 31.

(music nights) In the holiday tradition: hear the Notre-Dame Basilica organ in action on December 23-24 and 28-31 at 2 p.m., join the Arte Musica choral concert Let’s Sing Christmas! at the Montreal Fine Arts Museum on December 28-29, 2 p.m., and listen to choirs at the Montreal Botanic Gardens greenhouse on the afternoons of December 22-23. Less traditional: Party with the locals at the Third Annual Passovah Holiday Special on December 21 at Casa del Popolo, with bands, DJs and good, good people. The Objet Inusité International Summit on Audio Art is on at Eastern Bloc on December 21, with installations during the day and performances at 8 p.m., culminating December 22 with a bang at Sala Rossa with arty, fun music from Valleys, UN, Agor, Orkestar Kriminal ad DJ Matteo Grondini. On December 22, Indie Montréal throws a fab fundraiser Christmas Party at Divan Orange with David Martel , Ainsley McNeaney and Motel Raphaël. And fans of Alexisonfire either already have a ticket to their sold out shows or will be outside at Metropolis December 22 and 23 trying their luck getting one. And long-time UK punk band Snuff make it to Foufounes on December 30.

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Maison Publique: Chef Derek Dammann announced on Twitter that he’d be taking reservations (he usually doesn’t) at his brand new Maison Publique for NYE only. But even when pressed, Dammann wouldn’t reveal the secrets of the special one-night-only menu. We can only hope it might contain something like the Dungeness Crab trifle (pictured above) that he’s been serving us at his place.

XO: XO in the Hotel St-James is one of Montreal’s top-rated restaurants. The refined atmosphere of their dining room is sure to rarify the occasion. This year’s menu features oysters, seared venison, a lobster and guinea fowl “surf and turf”, and a mushroom tart with chestnuts and white truffles from Alba, all washed down with a coupe of champagne, of course.

Aix Cuisine de Terroir: In one of Montreal’s most picturesque hotels, the Place d’Armes in Old Montreal, ACdT is trying something a little gimmicky and festive this year – a tasting menu themed on the roaring ‘20s and “prohibition” (which Montreal never had, which is why it was so much fun for us). A five-course tasting menu lets you choose from seared scallops and Jerusalem artichokes, duck breast with truffle-braised lentils, and several other decadent items.

Nora Gray: This new entry into the pantheon of Montreal’s best was just recognized by the country’s go-to list of new restaurants, in enRoute Magazine. What do Ryan Gray and Emma Cardarelli have up their sleeve for their first NYE menu? Only the lucky few who nab a table for the special night will know, the menu isn’t posted anywhere (it never is), though sometimes secrets leak through on Twitter.

Le Club Chasse et Pêche: This is one of the hardest-to-nab tables in the city on this special night, since the Chasse et PêcheNYE service has become legendary. The menu always “remains discreet”, in the words of the their front-of-house man, because it is based on hard-to-find ingredients that are subject to change at the last minute.

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Make your way to Chinatown and hit up Mon Nan on Rue de la Gauchetière. They do an awesome traditional three-course roasted Peking duck. Starting with a soup made with the duck bones, it’s aromatic and warm. With pillows of tofu and silky strands of noodles, this dish is preceded with a duck meat stir-fry with bean sprouts and scallions.

This ritualistic “dish” is concluded with a plate of teeth-shattering roasted duck skin, served with piping hot and freshly made Chinese pancakes, a side of pickled carrots and daikon, and shredded scallions and cucumber. This is wrapped up and eaten with like a taco with a schmear of hoisin… a “Chaco”. Open on Christmas and New Year’s Day.

Looking for a hot bowl of something to warm your bones and sooth the soul? Head up to Restaurant Phouc Ky in Villeray for their specialty Phouc Ky noodle. A mix of yellow wheat udon noodles and rice vermicelli noodles in a rich pork bone broth is armed and ready to curse the weather away. Topped with ground pork, slices of fish cake and fried shallots, the pièce de résistance is a fried shrimp chip. Open on Christmas and New Year’s Day.

La Maison Foo Lam on L’acadie is the place you want to go for fresh seafood. This spot features live tanks of sea creatures that you can name before you watch the chef catch them and throw them in a screaming hot wok.

Two must-orders are the ginger and scallion fried lobster and salt and spicy pepper fried shrimp. The smokey kiss of the wok is distinct in every piece of crustacean on either dish. The savory lobster that’s spiced with ginger and aromatic with green onion and the spicy shrimp is fried to a crusty perfection – the shell is edible for the adventurous. Either dish are ones that deserve to be washed down with an icy bottle of Tsingtao. Open Christmas and New Year’s Day.

If dumplings is what you’re after, Qing Hua Dumplings has you covered. Offering awesome little bundles of soup dumplings of a variety of fillings made fresh to order, Qing Hua has two locations to help you get your fix. The lamb and coriander dumplings are a personal favourite; fill your bowl partway with vinegar and place the dumpling in and let it cool. Resist the urge to bite into it right away, as the dumpling will challenge you by squirting its contents all over you. Nibble a little hole and suck the soup out, and let nature lead you the rest of the way. Open New Year’s Day at both locations.

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THE DETAILS

Restaurant Mon Nan, 43 Rue de la Gauchetière East, (514) 866-7123

Restaurant Phouc Ky, 7495 St-Denis, (514) 278-8288

Restaurant Maison Foo Lam, 9394 Boulevard de l’Acadie, (514) 383-7878

Qing Hua, 1676 Avenue Lincoln (438) 288-5366 &  1019 St-Laurent Boulevard & (514) 903-9887

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The Olympic Park’s Winter Village‘s grand opening is on December 15 but he fun continues well into the New Year and, on December 31, the park will be hosting a New Year’s Eve celebration and bonfire. Revellers can enjoy the fireworks while ice skating around the beautiful park.
If you are looking for new ways to enjoy the winter, why not take up snow tennis? It’s tennis, but in the snow. Sounds reasonable and it’s probably a really good workout. Instructors with equipment will be waiting to give you a tutorial from January 5 until March 9 at the Olympic Park. Then, on February 15-16 look out for Barbegazi, the Extreme Sports Winter Festival. The festival will feature activities for everyone like freestyle snowmobiling, snowboard competitions, free skiing, snow skating, and a good old fashioned lumberjack challenge.

The Winter Village at the Olympic Park is going to be full of life all winter long, from festive events in December to spring break fun scheduled for March like the superhero-themed celebration for Nuit Blanche and the Montreal High Lights Festival. And, if that’s not enough, thanks to the success of the Park Olympic’s First Fridays food truck event, they’ve decided to introduce a winter version called First Saturdays where you can delight in a variety of festive foods from food trucks all winter long.

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THE DETAILS

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Pictured above is the roasted cauliflower, salty pork belly and ricotta at Pastaga: The earthiness of cauliflower and the tangy, sharp-soft salt of pork belly warm us to the bone.
Chef Jason Nelsons is almost religious in his devotion to what’s fresh, honest and often organic. He travels the region on Sunday road-trips in search of producers he likes, and the board at Renard Artisan Bistro, his small restaurant on Mont-Royal, lists original dishes that showcase the flavours in a way that elevates them even further. Sweetbreads never tasted so good in this town.
Tourtière is traditional Quebec meat-pie made of a meat mix that often includes pork and spices; this one made by Michelle Marek and Seth Gabrielese at Foodlab is adorned with a small, perfect pastry snowflake that tasted especially sweet and flaky. Michelle and Seth have organized a special set of holiday menus, Les Grandes tablées, which set menus for groups of six people or more – a great place to meet with family or friends over the holidays.
Speaking of pork, Lawrence Restaurant’s wintry Quebec-raised pork chop with braised radicchio and local apples, a signature dish which is always salted and sweet enough to warm even the chilliest bones. Apples are bountiful in Quebec, and cooks can count on them all winter long to sweeten the deal.
Speaking of root cellar-produce, Nora Gray has a mean handmade beet and gorgonzola ravioli on their December menu, as well as some rabbit saddle and tripe that’s recommended.

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Here are a few suggestions for Montreal-made sweet stocking stuffers that showcase this city’s recent gastronomic history.
Plateau chocolate stop: I like to walk down pretty Duluth Street when it’s snowing, so my first stop is Les Chocolats de Chloé, a chocolaterie that, as far as I’m concerned, should already be famous for their grilled-almond and Fleur-de-sel bars. Chloé’s boutique was sweetly decorated with felt owls and chocolate Santa lollipops with especially exuberant expressions. Their advent calendars houses fantastic filled housemade chocolates behind each numbered door.
Hot chocolate, cool balls: La Maison Cakao (Cocoa House) on Fabre Street is an awesome little shop whose unassuming façade belies the wild creativity inside. The sign on the street carries a straightforward message: Y Fait frette, which is Quebec slang for “it’s cold outside”. Hence: Hot chocolate. And sure enough, when you walk through the door, there’s a hot vat of it heating in an urn with an automated paddle.
They really pull out all the stops for Christmas, with specially baked fruitcake filled with homemade delicacies: cranberries dried after being marinatedin dark Cuban rum, pinapples confitted in maple syrup, as well as candied oranges, lemons, dates and apricots (they make great brown paper-wrapped gifts because they keep for two months after the holidays.) As far as stocking stuffers are concerned, their filled praline-chocolate pinecones are darling, and the jewel-red chocolate Christmas-ornament chocolates make a unique, elegant gift.
Also: Special holiday breads: The bakeries of the city are going full-steam throughout the holidays, and many of them actually bake special loaves for the holidays. Mamie Clafoutis on Van Horne Avenue makes the Marronnier, small, sweet loaf by stuffed with both ground and candied chestnuts. Believe it or not, this bread is fabricated especially to be a carrier of another French Christmas tradition: Foie Gras.
In Mile-End, the energetic bakers at Boulangerie Guillaume bake up the Couronne Lyonnaise, basically a round Baguette, especially for Christmas. That one’s great with some unsalted organic butter, fresh from their prodigious ovens.

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The market’s Art Deco facade dates back to 1933, and forms an imposing backdrop for the Christmas-tree markets that take over the parking lot when the Yule tides are high. When you get close enough, it smells like a pine forest, and there are always some Canadian woodland critters poking their noses out of the foliage.

But we’re here for the food, right? Montreal’s home cooks and restauranteurs alike swear by the meat at the Boucherie de Tours – the wall behind their cash is adorned with all the business cards of local eateries whose skin they’ve saved, from Le Bremner to Joe Beef. Pierrot, the owner, is “the man”, and indeed one year when I was making crepinettes (French Christmas sausages), the Boucherie de Tours was the only place in the whole city that carried the caul fat I needed for the casings. You can see from the delivery pictured here that unlike the big box stores, they still practice whole-animal butchery.

For visitors to town who don’t have their own kitchens to work with, Boucherie de Tours is still a great place to pick up a tin of Foie Gras  – a staple French Christmastime delicacy – to accompany a bottle of Quebec ice wine up in your room. (A hint: the SAQ across the street from the Atwater market specializes in local liquor, so it’s a great place pick up presents du terroir to tipple here and/or take back home). Or, grab some ready-made garnished sauerkraut or Cassoulet (another seasonal dish) to snack on.

Speaking of hotel-room treats, why not pick up a gift basket from the Fromagerie Atwater. When you walk into this mecca of cheese, it smells like a real cheese cellar (complete with curds at the counter, bien sur). They also put together great holiday hampers, full of great imported and local products. If you keep your eyes peeled in the Fromagerie, you can spot the little hidden doorways to some great caves – there’s a room down a few stairs that’s stacked with artisanal beer, and another little cave for aging cheese  – call it Narnia for foodies.

On the second floor, Premiere Moisson makes baguettes to go with your portable treats, as well as special Christmas pastries, cookies and chocolate treats that are re-invented every year (this year’s Chocolate figurine is a toppled-over Santa who looks to have had too much Christmas cheer already!

Down the hall, in the florists’ area, you can pick up a festive little mantel bouquet, a poinsettia, or a decorative Santa head to add holiday cheer to any home-away-from-home. And with that you’re all set for a moveable Holiday feast thanks to Atwater treats!

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Montreal is a city of many churches, some of which host spectacular Christmas concerts. Notre-Dame Basilica welcomes the Montreal Symphony Orchestra performing Hector Berlioz’s L’Enfance du Christ for the first time with Kent Nagano conducting the powerful orchestral and choral oratorio, December 19-20. The Basilica also hosts eight Quebecois singers interpreting traditional Christmas songs for the Les Stars chantent Noël concert, December 14-15 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. There’s even a chance to hear the Notre-Dame Basilica organ in action as organist Pierre Grandmaison rehearses on December 23-24 and 28-31 at 2 p.m. The Basilica’s Let There Be Light multi-media show also continues throughout the month.

Les Choralies Christmas concerts add harmonious voices to the quiet space of Chapelle Notre-Dame-de-Bon-Secours in Old Montreal, every Saturday and Sunday afternoon at 1:30 and 3 p.m., including a jazz twist on December 9, gospel hymns on December 16, a closing concert on December 23 with the Da Capo ensemble. The Gesù, a downtown church that also has a concert venue, will be full of glorious sound on December 9 at 3 p.m. as the award-winning Le Choeur Gospel Célébration sings its Noël Divin program of Christmas and holiday-themed music. On December 16, the Gesù’s organ gets a workout in the French 18th century music of Les douze Noëls pour orgue de Louis-Claude Daquin, with organist François Zeitouni. And December 27-28 brings La Pastorale des Santons de Provence d’Yvan Audouard to the Gesù space.

The newly built Maison Symphonique de Montréal, downtown at Place des Spectacles, also rings in the holiday cheer this December. The Montreal Symphony Orchestra and conductor Kent Nagano add a twist to traditional Québécois music as Québec writer Bryan Perro tells a magical, Christmassy tale of two villages on the Saint-Maurice River – the storytelling is in French, while the music transcends language – December 14-15 at Maison symphonique de Montréal. The OSM and the Montreal Bach Festival present internationally renowned Collegium Vocale Gent performing Bach’s Christmas Oratorio on December 12-13. And The Orchestre Métropolitain, conducted by Yannick Nézet-Séguin, makes the month more romantic with performances of Bruckner’s Symphony No. 6 on December 8.

Festive sounds permeate the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts throughout the month in a series of Christmas- and holiday-themed concerts. Free choral concerts take place on December 9 (Cantivo Vocal Ensemble) and on December 16 (Westmount Harmonia) in the Hall of Bronzes of the Michal and Renata Hornstein Pavilion at 3 p.m., with local vocal groups lifting their voices high. In the museum’s grand Bourgie Hall, hear soprano Hélène Guilmette sing cantatas and traditional songs on December 12, soprano Suzie LeBlanc in a traditional concert of Advent music, with violinist, organist and conductor on December 16 at 3 p.m., and on December 28-29, join in on the Arte Musica choral concert Let’s Sing Christmas! at 2 p.m.

And if the natural world is your sanctuary, choirs also come to the Montreal Botanic Gardens this month, making themselves at home among the greenery in the festively decorated and lit-up main greenhouse December 8-9, 15-16, and 22-23 throughout the afternoon.

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It goes without saying that all events take place Monday, December 31, 2012. Consider arriving before midnight so you don’t ring in 2013 sitting in a taxi or metro.

ODYSSEY 2013 is definitely one of the main events in Montreal’s Gay Village. Taking place at the famed after-hours club Circus, the party will continue until many hours into 2013. An impressive lineup in both the Trance Room and House Room include Orjan Nilsen, Leon Bolier, Jay Lumen and Koen Groeneveld. Tickets are $60 in pre-sale available here, or $85 at the door.

Royal Ball @ Royal Phoenix: Royal Phoenix in the Mile End was just voted as the Sexiest Gay Bar on the planet by NewNowNext Traveler’s Choice Awards! In an astonishing coincidence (not) Royal Phoenix will be hosting the sexiest New Year’s Eve party in Montreal! The Royal Ball is $10 in advance, $15 at the door, and there’s an optional $50 open bar from 9 – 10 PM. Everyone will get free champagne at midnight, and a massive crowd of LGBT folk to smooch. The night will be hosted by MTL Clubkids Sally & Tyler along with Montreal Roller Derby’s SmackDaddy and Royal Phoenix owner Val Desjardins.

Unity 2013: Tickets are already on sale and going fast for Unity’s annual New Year’s Eve bash. They’re $15 in advance and include free rapid coat check! Richard B will be spinning on the main dance floor with Stally at the Bamboo Bar. The midnight countdown at Unity is always a spectacular show complete with gogo-dancers, drag queens, and lots of making out.

Carnavalesque: In the depths of Bain Mathieu, you’ll find the most tantalizing NYE Party in Montreal. Put on by the infamous Cirque du Boudoir, the 2013 theme is New Orleans / Mardi Gras! So dust of those old beads you know you have somewhere and get caught up in the decadent fun. General tickets are $60 before December 27 and $80 at the door. VIP tickets are $85 until December 27 and $120 at the door. Both are available online.

Velvet Speakeasy: L’Auberge Saint Gabriel and Velvet Speakeasy present “La Second Avant Minuit” which translates to “The Second Before Midnight.” Deep minimal techno in the Velvet Speakeasy, House and Old School music in the Lounge, and a live Jazz /Soul band in the restaurant.

Note: This article will be updated as more events are scheduled! Check back closer to NYE!

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